I just need to talk about Spring Breakers. I saw it over a month ago and I cannot stop thinking about it. It blew my mind. I think it’s the most provocative thing I’ve seen come out of Hollywood since Drive, but I’m not going to say it’s Drive's equal. It is filthy.
Let me tell you about it.
There are 4 girls at an ambiguous college in the South. Three of them are “bad girls” and they drink and do drugs and hang around in skimpy outfits. Their forth friend loves them but doesn’t totally approve of their behavior, and she goes to a new-wave Christian prayer circle to talk about how awesome Jesus is, but she doesn’t look that into it.
Anyway, they all want to get out of the ho-dunk town and go on SPRING BREAK, but they haven’t saved enough money to go. Boo! While Selena Gomez is at prayer/singing time, the other three decide to rob a chicken diner. Robbing people with hammers ends up feeling pretty awesome, and the roll around in their dorm room with all of their stolen cash. Selena doesn’t approve, but she’s like, whatever, SPRING BREAK!
They go on SPRING BREAK and here is beer and boobs and shots and butts and lots of people partying in the water. It is awesome. The girls have the time of their life, and then they are like, hey, what if we were on spring break FOREVER?
But then when they are having a good old fashion hotel party sniffing coke off boobs and stuff, and the cops come! Oh no! SPRING BREAK is ruined! TheY have to do 2 days in jail for drug possession or something, and they have to sit thee in their bikinis and it is soooo booooring. But wait! Local rapper/drug dealer/cornrow enthusiast James Franco decides to bail them out, because he “knew that they were special from the moment I saw you.”
SPRING BREAK IS NOW BACK ON!
But this time it is different. Instead of partying on the beach with a bunch of white college kids, James Franco brings them to a pool hall and strip club with mostly black people. Selena Gomez is uncomfortable and whiney so he takes a bus home. Now that sourpuss Selena is gone, thy can have some fun and commit some crimes! Like robbing tourists and arcades. SPRING BREAK FOREVER!
But shit starts to get real. The one with the pink hair gets shot the arm by James’ Franco’s rival drug dealer/ex-bff/GucciMann and decides to take the bus home too.
Now there just two left to enjoy James Franco’ money and guns, and they are all like SPRING BREAK FOREVER. But they have to get revenge! So they get in a boat and drive to Gucci Mann’s mcmansion. James Franco is immediately shot, but then the girls go and kill every single person at that house! Like Spring Break forever!
Ad then they drive home.